


Bedlam of My Own

by loveliescrossing



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dark Number Five | The Boy, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Horror, M for themes, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, What am I doing, i guess, this is such a weird disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveliescrossing/pseuds/loveliescrossing
Summary: Five is the director of an infamous mental institution and takes a great deal too much pleasure in his work. He is pleasantly surprised when an ex-patient from his days in private psychiatry is forcibly committed into the care of his institution by her father. Vanya never was crazy, but maybe he can get her there.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 49
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

Five had always been fascinated by the workings of the human mind. He loved figuring out what made people tick, and he loved using what he figured out to manipulate everything around him. Five had found himself invariably drawn to psychiatry, relishing the opportunity to dig into the darkest corners of his patients' minds and fix them, or ruin them, as he saw fit. 

It was a little ironic he knew; the ferocity with which he dug into the psyches of others bordered on pathological. If he showed anyone the honest vulnerability his patients showed to him, Five would probably be committed to a mental institution himself, or maybe he would just be sent to prison.

Five served as the director of one of the country's most infamous mental asylums. Founded nearly two hundred years ago, it was guilty of all the allegations of patient abuse and neglect common in institutions at the time, but in recent decades it had undergone sweeping reform and was once again pristine in its public reputation as a modern institution.

However, unethical treatments and abuses still lingered within the institution, only now it was by design rather than by neglect. It was an open secret in certain circles that the institution which Five ran kept ethics a secondary concern to scientific progress. The reputation was what had drawn Five to the position in the first place.

The institution was run by an organization called the Commission, and it was backed by a shadowy web of government agencies and private donors. Their primary concern was the development of psychological techniques to loosen the tongues of enemies and spies rather than the treating of patients, and increased madness or a sudden disappearance were as common outcomes for a patient as rehabilitation. 

Still, there were never so many disappearances as to arouse suspicions from the general public. It was largely known that the institution was a place of care for long term patients with little to no hope of re-entry into society, and such cases were rarely missed. The normalcy of long term care also made the institution a very convenient storehouse for those its financial backers consider to be undesirables. 

Of course, Five was also a prodigious enough psychiatrist when he applied his talents in the proper direction that he could produce a miracle recovery in a patient whenever the institution needed a success story to boost public opinion. Though for the most part, Five preferred to keep himself engaged in the more investigative pursuits of the facility.

Five enjoyed his work, and, as it happens, he was also very good at it. Good enough to gain the notice of his superiors not long after starting work at the mental asylum and to be quickly promoted to director of the facility. Five had complete control over the day to day operations of the institution, and he had free reign to arrange and administer treatment to any patient he chose. It was his own personal Bedlam.

By far what Five liked most about being the director was his ability to spend his time treating whichever patient he found most intriguing. If there was ever a favorite patient that he wanted to toy with, all he had to do was say the word, and, as it happened, he certainly did have a favorite.  
_____

It was early in the morning when Five made his way down to the room of his favorite patient. When he unlocked her room and stepped inside, he found that she was already awake, sitting on her neatly made bed and staring out the window with a dull expression on her face. The drugs always made her listless, or perhaps it was the fact that she had been locked away in a mental institution despite being perfectly sane.

"Good morning, Ms. Hargreeves," he greeted her pleasantly, "How are we feeling this morning?"

She turned her head to look at him. Her expression remained impassive, but Five could tell she was a bit nervous to see him.

Vanya Hargreeves was a slight woman, both short and thin, childlike to an extent. She had plain brown hair and a complexion somewhat sallow from her time in the asylum and the accompanying stress. Five smiled as he looked at her. There was something in the vulnerability of her appearance that was unconscionably pleasing to him.

"Vanya," he started patiently, just a hint of disapproval in his voice, "what have we said about speaking when I ask you a question?"

A flash of anxiety danced across Vanya's face at his words, but she schooled her expression and looked down.

"I'm feeling very well this morning, Doctor," she answered quietly. Five hummed back. He didn't believe her, but he doubted she expected him to. The bags under her eyes and tension in her body betrayed her restless unease.

"Still not sleeping well," Five offered mildly. Vanya glared at him, but said nothing. 

That was fine. Five could read the thoughts behind her glare well enough. Of course she wasn't sleeping well. She was locked in a madhouse with a bunch of lunatics, and the most dangerous one was the doctor that had chosen to personally oversee her care.

Five smiled again. He liked that she knew he was dangerous. He never thought he would like someone knowing what he really was. He didn't like the idea of being exposed in that way, but Vanya was locked up and had no one to turn to but Five himself. Knowing that she couldn't reveal him to anyone else, he found an unexpected amount of pleasure in having her know him.

He handed her a paper cup with a couple of pills inside. Vanya took it reluctantly, but she didn't move to swallow them. 

"I don't need medication. I'm not crazy," she told him,"You know I'm not crazy."

Five felt his lip twitch. No, Vanya wasn't crazy. She had a plethora of neurosis and anxieties stemming from a neglectful childhood which made her the most delightfully receptive subject for all Five's mechanisms and manipulations, but she wasn't crazy, not yet anyway.

"Not everyone that takes medication is crazy, Vanya," he told her in a reassuring tone, "These pills are just for anxiety. They'll help you relax." 

Five shifted closer to her and laid two of his fingers along the inside of her wrist, feeling her pulse. "I can tell you're nervous," he told her in a low voice. 

Vanya bristled. He knew that she hated the way he could read her even when she worked to keep her expression impassive. 

Five had felt her pulse quicken at his words. If she hadn't been nervous before, he could feel she was now. Still, she didn't move to take her pills.

"Vanya, do I need to call in the orderlies to help you take your medication?" he threatened her in a calm voice. 

Vanya shook her head, and she removed her wrist from his grasp to wrap her arm around her middle, as though she were trying to physically retreat into herself. 

Five knew she disliked being handled by the orderlies. She found it frightening and degrading to be manhandled by them. If Five was honest, he didn't like her being handled by them either. He hated seeing anyone's hands on her but his own. Still, he had had to let them handle her a few times, just enough for her to learn it wasn't something she wanted to have happen.

"Go on then," he ordered her, tapping his index finger on the side of the paper cup she was holding, "Bottoms up."

Vanya shot him a dirty look but obediently brought the cup to her lips and dipped her head back. When she was done she stuck out her tongue so he could see that she had swallowed.

"There's a good girl," he said smugly. She scowled at him with pink cheeks, resenting his overly familiar tone.

Vanya was watching him quietly, waiting for him to leave now that he had bullied her into taking her medication. Normally, Five would leave her to be shepherded through her day by orderlies and other staff members until it was time for her therapy session with him, but Five had other plans for today.

"How would you like to come around with me today?" he asked her casually. 

Vanya blinked at him in surprise. He had never offered to bring her around with him before and she wasn't sure how to respond. She was certain to be suspicious of his motivations, but he could see she was also tempted by the prospect of escaping her daily routine.

He knew daily life in the asylum was difficult for her. Not only was she afraid of the orderlies and the nurses, but she was frightened of the patients in the common areas as well. Many of them had violent tendencies and were prone to outbursts. Vanya spent most of her time lurking in the shadows, not moving or making a sound, praying not to be noticed by anyone. It would have been kinder to allow her to stay alone in her room, but that wouldn't have suited Five's purpose.

Five could still sense her hesitation. He wondered if it was too early, if she needed more time to stew in the agitation of her daily routine before she would agree to go with him. 

"Do you-, " Vanya broke off nervously but continued, "Do you often bring patients around with you during the day?" she asked in a hushed voice.

Five grinned. She was confused by his motivations, but he knew he had her anyway. She just needed a bit of reassurance.

"Never," he assured her, "This is part of a treatment plan designed especially for my favorite patient."

Vanya's mouth twitched. She knew she couldn't trust him, but hearing Five say she was his favorite seemed to soften her slightly against her better judgement. When Five offered his hand to her, she only wavered a moment before bringing her delicate fingers to rest on his palm.

As Five looked at her hand in his, he reflected on how long it had taken them to get to this point. Vanya had been his favorite long before she ever came to the asylum, but he had been convinced for a time that he would never see her again, nevermind convince her to take his hand.  
_____

Five had first met Vanya when he was still running his private practice in psychiatry. She had come to him as a patient seeking help managing her anxiety. She had been referred to him by her father, Reginald Hargreeves, who was aware of Five's reputation as a practitioner of less than conventional methods.

Five was sure he had neglected to share this information with his daughter. Along with the referral, Five had received instructions from Mr. Hargreeves that the primary object of Vanya therapy was to subdue her hysterical, nervous tendencies and to ensure that she was kept meek and obedient enough to be married off without putting up a fuss and embarrassing him.

Five remembered raising an eyebrow at that. Even when he was called on for unconventional services, it was unusual to get a request in private practice that was so blatantly against the best interests of the patient. But Reginald Hargreeves was an influential man, not to be refused, and Five couldn't deny that he was intrigued to meet the daughter of such a man.

When Vanya first stepped into his office, Five couldn't deny the immediate, if unconventional, attraction he felt for her. He liked the way she moved and fidgeted. She was eager to impress, but there was something in her manner that told Five that she had already given up on actually managing to impress him. She held herself in a purposely unimposing way that made Five want to drag her into the light and make her reveal all her secrets to him. 

Vanya wasn't really a conventionally attractive woman. She had a small, almost boyish appearance, lacking curves and not indulging in feminine dress. Her face might be pretty in a plain sort of way, but generally it wouldn't be considered eye catching. But even this was appealing to Five. Her physical features attracted him so singularly that he was pleased that most people wouldn't perceive her appeal. It was as though her allure existed just for him.

Their talks began in a standard enough manner. Five took his time feeling her out and earning her trust. He showed an invested, yet professional concern in everything she told him, and as the weeks went on and Vanya began to divulge more and more personal details, he knew he had been taken into her confidence.

Vanya told him how her mother had died giving birth to her, and how her father had never forgiven her for it. She told him how she had been compared to her mother endlessly, and how she had been discarded when she had failed to live up to her father's expectations.

Vanya had been kept out of school entirely, instead being taught at home by private tutors. She had been trained her whole childhood for a career in classical music, so she could follow in the footsteps of her violinist mother. Vanya had worked tirelessly, desperately to please her father, and, despite all odds, she had developed a genuine passion for the violin, only to have her father pronounce her skills barely tolerable, informing her that it would be a waste of time to allow her to go on to study at a conservatory. 

This final rejection must have gutted Vanya, sending her into a nervous spiral, but it was plain to Five that she had been neglected and emotionally demeaned by her father for so long that she had already been broken for years before that last blow struck. Frankly, it was surprising that Vanya emerged from her childhood with issues no more severe than a nervous disposition and desperately low self-esteem.

Five wasn't sure why Reginald Hargreeves seemed to think it was necessary to further cow his daughter into obedience. It was obvious from her every nervous fidget and every deferential word she spoke that Vanya would do absolutely anything for her father's approval. Five could only guess that Mr. Hargreeves paid her so little attention that he hadn't even noticed.

If Five had been a better man, he would have told Vanya that her relationship with her father was damaging and toxic. He would have told her that she should cut ties with her family and pursue happiness on her own terms. But Five had other instructions to follow, as well as his own inclinations to indulge.

Instead, he told her that he father cared for her but had a hard time showing it, that she needed to be patient and not make things more difficult by disagreeing with him. 

Had Vanya merely respected Five's professional opinion as her doctor, she likely would have seen how his reassurances contradicted with reality. However, as their sessions went on, Five had been gradually pushing the boundaries of their relationship beyond the strictly professional.

It hadn't been difficult for him. He would smile warmly at her when they met and hold the door for her as she left. Small things were enough to catch Vanya's attention, and she was soon blushing at his advances and returning his grins with shy smiles.

Five knew Vanya's self-esteem was so low that she wouldn't be able to seriously consider the idea that he wanted her unless he spelled it out plainly. She thought the infatuation was all on her side, and she was incapable of suspecting him, even as he actively encouraged her inappropriate attachment in every way. Five could tell Vanya had reached the point where she would be hard pressed to discount his judgement even in a situation where she privately disagreed with him.

With Vanya's dependence on his judgement and her desire for his good opinion laying the foundation, Five was anxious to push things further. He had used his words to persuade her to continue to bend to her father's will without complaint, but she would remain visibly depressed and anxious if he didn't give her something more to act as a balm on the wounds he was helping to perpetuate.

He took the opportunity to make his move the next time Vanya was discussing her anxiety. She was describing a free floating sense of unease, a tension that she lived with constantly. She just couldn't find a way to relax.

"When was the last time you had sex, Vanya?" he asked bluntly, knowing the question would startle her. Vanya's eyes snapped to his face and her mouth fell open slightly, but no words came out. 

It was more of a rhetorical question anyway. From what Five knew of Vanya's restrictive life growing up, there was little chance she had ever had any sort of intimate relationship, nevermind one that involved sex. She made a few stuttering noises, and after a brief pause Five continued on in a professional voice, 

"You're very tightly wound, both physically and emotionally. I think that achieving orgasm would allow you to relieve some of your physical tension, and, in turn, ease some of your emotional tension as well."

He watched her closely as he spoke. Her face had turned red, and she still seemed incapable of speaking. It was clear she was embarrassed by his words, but she didn't seem angry or defensive. That was good.

"If you don't have a romantic partner, you could ask someone you trust to help you, a friend perhaps," he advised her. He held back a smirk as he asked her slyly, "Is there someone you trust, Vanya?"

This got Vanya to look up and catch his eye before she could help it. In her eyes Five could plainly read the answering 'You' that would never make it out of her lips. He let them sit in silence for a few moments before speaking again.

"Would you like me to help you?" he asked him a low voice, knowing what her answer would be.

Slowly, she nodded her acquiescence, and Five felt the roar of victory swell inside his chest. He had been waiting for this since the moment he had laid eyes on her. 

He didn't usually mess around with his patients, not sexually anyway, but he couldn't help himself with Vanya. And anyway, Vanya was malleable enough that it would be easy for him to fool around with her with no strings attached. He would get what he wanted from her and he would talk her into stopping when he'd had enough.

The first few times they slept together it was awkward. Vanya was inexperienced and Five had to do a lot of coaxing and cooing while still attempting to maintain the guise of being professional.

After that Vanya was able to loosen up and it got better. Five was still careful to be gentle with her, but his professional front had started to slip. When they were in the moment he wasn't able to keep from telling her how attractive she was and how badly he wanted her.

Five wasn't worried about these slip ups. Vanya still thought so little of herself that she couldn't really believe his words. She would think that he was just trying to be nice, or maybe that he was pitying her.

Vanya's spirits had gradually improved as well. The physical pleasure of being with Five had effectively distracted Vanya from the fact that her home life and her relationship with her father hadn't improved at all since the start of her therapy. Her relationship with Five provided her an escape without bringing any meaningful change to her life.

As time went on, Five's control slipped away from him more and more. Being with her was intoxicating in a way that he never imagined it would be. Each time she breathed his name against his skin, or ran her nails down his back, made him burn for her like he had never burned for anyone else. 

Five started to let himself go more when they slept together. He was rougher, more passionate and intense than he had been at the start. The change may have made Vanya uneasy, but if it did she was too afraid of disappointing him to bring it up, and Five was too far gone to care if she was bothered.

He also started reciprocating more during the talking portion of their therapy sessions. Five had always responded to her, but now he was surprising himself by frequently responding with the truth. 

He told her how he had often felt as alone in the world as she did, how he raised himself on the streets and clawed his way into distinction in the field of psychiatry. He told her how he had twisted and stepped on people to get where he was and how he had enjoyed the process. The desire to have her know him poured out of him uncontrollably, and he found it both frightening and exhilarating. 

He could see that some of the things he shared scared her, but he could also see that she felt a loyalty to him that would keep her from pulling away. The longer she stayed, the more Five realized he couldn't imagine ever allowing her to walk away.

The next time Five slipped up, it was bigger. He was too caught up in the moment, and all he could think about was the feel of her around him and the way she was begging him to touch her. Without pausing to think about what he might be giving away, he found himself muttering harsh words into her ear as though they were worshipping praise:

"God, Vanya, you're so pathetic," he groaned out as though nothing could please him more. Vanya tensed in his arms, but Five was too distracted to notice and went on, "You're so fucking desparate for me that I could do anything to you, and you'd just take it. You're such a good girl. You'd do anything I say. You're so fucking perfect."

Five hadn't noticed that Vanya had gone quiet as he continued to speak, but when he eventually did disentangle himself from her, he noticed that she wasn't relaxed in the way she usually was when they finished. Her eyes looked far away and she seemed to be turning something over in her mind. 

He leaned towards her and brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. He tried to subtly draw her eye to his own to see what she was thinking, but when he did he saw that her eyes were similarly searching his own for meaning.

"What's the matter, Vanya?" he asked her gently, not wanting her to retreat into herself.

Vanya bit her lip and after a moment she asked him, "Do you really like the way I am?"

Five quickly ran through what he had said to her to figure out what had triggered such an inquiry. He wasn't immediately sure how to answer her. Of course he liked her, he had told her so repeatedly, but she was asking him now if he really meant the words he'd been muttering in her ear, that he liked the way she seemed to need him so desperately that she couldn't be bothered to think for herself. The problem was that Five wasn't sure what answer she needed to hear. Was she far enough along to be comforted by the idea that he liked her dependence?

"I like all of you," he told her cautiously, "When you're with me, you don't have to be afraid to be yourself, no matter what that is."

Though he hadn't directly answered her question, Vanya seemed mollified by his words, and she didn't pull away when he leaned in to kiss her. And though Five had only been trying to obfuscate the situation, he was surprised to find that he had spoken words that he felt were true. He could take all of Vanya, no matter what she was. He just wondered if he could get her to do the same.

But when Vanya showed up to their next session, there was a nervous, yet resolved expression on her face. Apprehension turned in Five's stomach when she faced him. 

"I want to stop our therapy sessions," she told him directly. Five felt alarm flare through him, and he clenched his jaw to keep it from showing.

"What are you talking about, Vanya?" he forced himself to ask calmy, "You know you still have a long way to go, and you've made so much progress."

"I know I still have a long way to go, but I don't think I've been making progress. I don't believe that you think I've been making progress either, and I don't think you care," she accused him in a pained voice.

Of course she was right, he didn't much care if she made progress working through her family issues. They had created a vulnerability that Five had been able to exploit to coax her into a relationship with him. Still, he denied her accusation:

"Of course I care," he told her in a convincingly hurt voice, "I don't understand where all this is coming from."

Vanya swallowed thickly and spoke in a trembling voice, "I was looking through my father's records, and I saw the instructions he sent you at the start of my therapy."

Five swore silently to himself, his mouth twisting involuntarily as he realized he'd been caught.

"You've been working for him this whole time. You never cared about helping me at all," Vanya went on as tears started to form in her eyes, "Nothing that happened between us was real. You just saw that I was weak and you took advantage of me."

"That's not true!" Five told her, even though most of what she said was very true. He moved towards her as he spoke, "What happened between us was real, Vanya. Yes, at the beginning I was following your father's instructions, but things changed after we-."

"After we started sleeping together?" Vanya cut in, pain and anger clear in her voice. "We shouldn't have been sleeping together at all, Five! You're my doctor! You saw that I was in a bad place and you took advantage of me because you like toying with people!" she accused him.

"It's not like that," Five told her hastily. It was like that, but there was also more. 

He did like to manipulate people, but it was more than that with Vanya. He wasn't just toying with her for the sake of his own amusement. He had become so strongly attached to her that he was desperate to bind her to him as tightly as he felt himself bound to her.

Five wasn't sure how things had gotten quite so out of hand. He was so sure that he had Vanya under control, but he had been overconfident and had missed the signs that she was starting to piece things together. 

And then, Five had never thought she'd have it in her to confront him even if she did suspect something. Five wasn't sure what was worse, that she wanted to leave him, or that he had been so dead wrong when he thought that she wouldn't be able to walk away from him.

"It is like that!" Vanya shot back, her voice pained, "You've told me how you get off on manipulating and controlling people. I was so stupid to believe you weren't doing the exact same thing to me!" She continued in with more heat in her voice, "What you did to me was wrong! I could sue you for malpractice and shut down your whole operation!"

Five tensed. He couldn't believe she would threaten him like that. When he started their affair, he had been sure that he would be able to keep everything contained. He had thought it would be a harmless fling, short and controlled, but now he found both his heart and his livelihood under fire.

"It's fine if you don't want to be physical anymore," he told her in an understanding voice, trying to talk her down, "We can just continue with the talking therapy. We can work things out, Vanya."

Five knew that if he had enough time he would be able to talk her around. She may be angry now, but he knew her feelings for him hadn't just disappeared. He could get her back, he knew it, but Vanya knew it as well.

"No! If we keep talking I know you'll convince me to start sleeping with you again," she told him with more sadness than anger, "I can't see you anymore, Five, not at all. I promise I won't tell anyone what happened between us if you just stay away from me!" Vanya turned and left before Five could get another word out to try to convince her to stay. 

He was bitterly disappointed with the way the situation had worked out. Vanya had walked out on him, and he couldn't even pursue her without endangering his practice. If she spoke one word about what went on between them, he would have his medical license revoked instantly. Five tried to swallow the sour taste in his mouth as he stared at the empty space in his office that Vanya had just vacated.  
_____

Long after Vanya disappeared from his life, Five still found himself thinking about her regularly. He had been hasty in handling her and he bitterly regretted it. He had planned for a meaningless fling and had treated Vanya accordingly. He could only imagine how easy it would have been if he had known that he wanted to keep her from the start. 

He would have stuck strictly to talk therapy, endearing himself to her while remaining indisputably professional. He would have waited for her treatment to end, and a few months later he would have started coincidentally showing up in various places she would frequent: the library, the coffee shop, wherever. 

It would have been so easy to persuade her to start a real relationship with him. He would have had no problem seducing Vanya as her boyfriend rather than as her doctor. And her father had been actively looking to have her married off to a respectable man. Remembering this always made Five stew in bitterness and regret. They could have been married within the year if Five had just had the patience to know what he was about before he began.

Forced to resign Vanya to the back of his mind, Five refocused his attention on his work. He felt reenergized as he dug into the minds of his other patients, and he started to experiment with increasingly risky practices. He eventually suspended his private practice to take a position at a mental institution that had an underground reputation for allowing doctors to indulge in unconventional experimentation.

It was to Five's immense surprise and pleasure that Reginald Hargreeves suddenly showed up on the doorstep of the institution with Vanya in tow. As the director of the institution, Five had met Mr. Hargreeves in the lobby when his arrival was announced. He had nodded politely to the man, and somehow managed to keep the shock and elation off his face when he turned and saw that Vanya was behind him.

She was seated in one of the lobby chairs, and she was wrapped tightly in a white straightjacket. There was also a mask covering the lower half of her face. Such masks were usually used to prevent patients from biting, but they additionally prevented the wearer from being able to speak. In this instance, Five was sure it was to keep Vanya from speaking in her own defense. She looked afraid.

Five turned a questioning gaze to Mr. Hargreeves which was answered directly. Mr. Hargreeves was a major financial backer of the institution, and he had come to leverage that position to rid himself of his undesired daughter once and for all.

"She's completely useless," he told Five shortly, "absolutely no mind for self improvement. I've wasted enough time indulging the fantasy that she could be anything less than an embarrassment to me."

"I see," Five returned, and, sensing there was more to come, he waited for Mr. Hargreeves to give his orders.

"She was never so well maintained as when she was under your care" Mr. Hargreeves told him, "Rework her mind, make her disappear, or lock her up forever, I don't care. She is at your absolute discretion."

Vanya whimpered behind them and Five found his eyes drawn to her again. He had been angry with her when she left, but having her brought back to him like this, so neatly packaged and put under his authority, he could only feel the anticipation gnawing in his gut.

"I understand," he told Mr. Hargreeves, never taking his eyes off of Vanya. She wilted under his gaze and turned her eyes down. With Five's agreement in hand, Reginald Hargreeves took his leave without even a parting word to his daughter.

Five took his time slowly walking over to her. Vanya watched him with trepidation as he approached. He bent down and brought his face level to hers, tilting his head slightly as he peered at her. Five brought up a hand to cup the side of her face, his thumb hovering over the area where her lips would be if her mouth weren't covered by the mask.

"Well, Ms. Hargreeves, what are we going to do with you?" he asked her with a slight smile starting to curl his lips. Vanya just stared back at him with wide eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment your thoughts 💕


	2. Chapter 2

Five was determined to handle Vanya with care this time around. Previously, he had let his desires override his usual sense of caution and he had paid for it dearly. He had underestimated Vanya's strength of character and her strength of mind, but he was ready this time, and he was that much more aware of how valuable his prize really was.

He visited Vanya only sporadically at first. He knew the anticipation of waiting for his arrival would keep her on edge. She would know he wouldn't leave her to be treated just like any other patient, and she would be distressed by the thought of what he might do to her. 

At the same time, she would find herself afraid of being left alone. He was giving her time to stew in the daily routine of the asylum, to learn that if she were truly abandoned by Five, she would lose the only person who knew she was sane. Though she knew he was dangerous, perhaps more so for her than for anyone else, having Five as a confidant must be preferable to having no confidant at all. 

When Five finally made his offer for her to start accompanying him during the days, Vanya was hesitant. She must have known something was coming, but she couldn't be sure what. She knew that Five could be petty, even spiteful, and she had to be wondering whether he was angry enough at her for walking out on him to be inclined to take his revenge. 

While revenge wasn't at the forefront of Five's mind, Vanya was right to be concerned. Now that she was back in his domain, there was no chance he would let her escape again, regardless of the means he had to employ to get her to stay.

The first day Vanya went around with Five was uneventful. Five chose to spend the day doing paperwork in his office, and Vanya was allowed to sit quietly to the side. She had initially been on edge, waiting for Five to make a move, but as the hours of quiet dragged on, she began to be more at ease with his presence. 

After a few more days spent in the same manner, Vanya was getting comfortable enough that Five wanted to start putting pressure on her. Vanya looked at him in confusion when he walked her past his office instead of going inside.

"I want to show you some of the subjects I've been working with," he told her. Vanya's face went pale. She had picked up on the way he had said subjects rather than patients.

"Five, I don't know-" she started, but he interrupted her.

"I'm afraid I have to insist," he told her with a smile, "Unless you'd prefer to be left to your usual routine with the other patients."

The threat made Vanya go quiet and Five shepherded her down the hallway with his hand. He stopped her in front of a metal door and opened a sliding panel that would allow them to peer inside the room. He gestured for her to look inside. 

Reluctantly, Vanya stepped towards the door and looked through the thick glass of the panel. Almost immediately after looking in, she reared her head back, struck by the pair of wide, wild eyes that glared at her from the other side of the room.

"He's been awake for seventy-two hours," Five told her nonchalantly from over her shoulder. Vanya flinched slightly at the feeling of his breath on her ear, but she couldn't tear her gaze away from the intense glare of the man inside the room.

"Insomnia?" Vanya questioned in a breathless voice, very much doubting that was the case.

"Low temperatures and continuous high volume auditory stimulation," he informed her, and, tapping on the glass panel, he added, "Sound proof."

Vanya felt her stomach turn. She knew it was pointless to ask, but she was compelled anyway. "Why?" she asked, turning her gaze to him.

"The human mind does fascinating things under the stress of sleep deprivation," he said, smiling down at her. "Diego here thinks he has to stop the Kennedy assassination," he said with evident interest in his voice.

Vanya didn't seem able to respond to that, but she managed one more look into Diego's wild eyes before Five snapped shut the panel on the door. 

Vanya was very quiet as Five took her around to the other patients in the sleep deprivation ward. She had learned from the first encounter and she was careful not to make eye contact with any of the other patients. The look in Diego's eyes would haunt her long enough.

Five started to bring Vanya to more patient visits after that day. Sometimes to the experimental wards, and sometimes to the more mundane treatment of regular patients. He knew the experience unnerved her. He wanted to both rattle her and to desensitize her to the realities of his work. It appeared to be working well. Vanya seemed to teeter on the edge between dejected resignation as she observed Five's experiments and palpable fear that she could at any moment find herself a part of them.

They were in the electric shock therapy ward when Vanya finally fell over the edge. It wasn't the first time she had visited the ward. She was familiar with the patient he was treating today, a former junkie named Klaus who claimed he could speak with the dead.

"That's the stuff," Klaus sighed out with a strangled laugh as the most recent shock raged through his system. 

Five gave a wry smile. Klaus had always been a strange one, even before the shock therapy. Vanya was seated in the corner with an unfocused expression on her face, but when Five cranked up the dial and Klaus screamed again, his yell seemed to pierce through her daze and she curled into a ball, hiding her face.

At the end of the session, Vanya was timidly making her way out of the room with Five when Klaus suddenly reached out and grabbed her arm. She started and flinched back, but didn't pull out of his grip.

"Mama says she's sorry she had to go," Klaus told her hazily, his head lulling to the side. 

"What?" Vanya asked, clearly unnerved. She had never spoken to Klaus before and there was no reason he would know anything about Vanya or her mother, who had died giving birth to her, leaving her to the mercy of her father. She unconsciously leaned towards him as he continued speaking.

"Don't die in a place like this, Vanya," he said, a strange, pleading note in his voice. Vanya's eyes widened and her brow furrowed, shock and concern evident in her expression.

"How do you know my name?" Vanya asked in a shaky voice, but before Klaus could answer, Five had pulled her out of his grip and into the hallway.

"Everyone in the ward knows your name, Vanya," Five told her dismissively, "Klaus is just a washed up junkie who only knows how to make up lies to fuel his drug habit. Don't worry about anything he says."

Vanya didn't look convinced, but she smiled half-heartedly at Five's attempt at reassurance. Five had taken advantage of her when she was his patient in private practice, and he continued to toy with her in the asylum. She was rightfully weary of him, but Vanya had come to realize that Five really did have a soft spot for her. The way he cared for her wasn't selfless or disinterested, he wouldn't have kept her locked in the asylum if it was, but Five did treat her with a marked preference. Vanya could tell he still wanted her.

This was, of course, exactly what Five had wished to convey to her with his behavior. He had conducted himself in such a way as to hint to Vanya that he still desired her, but he had held himself back from making a more forward move. He wanted Vanya to come to him herself. He was the ultimate authority in the asylum, and it was only a matter of time before Vanya realized that his partially for her could be used to her advantage, if she were willing to put a little skin in the game.

Ultimately, it was Klaus's words that had pushed her over the edge. Whether they had actually come from her mother or not, they had ignited a spark inside of Vanya. She couldn't allow herself to wither away in the asylum and die. Five's attentions presented an opportunity, and Vanya had resolved to take it, regardless of the risk.  
_____

They were alone in Five's office one evening when Vanya decided to make her move. She stood up quietly from her seat on the floor, her stomach twisting and her hands a little bit clammy. She approached where Five was seated at his desk, fearful that her inexperienced attempts at seduction would fail, and equally afraid that they would succeed.

He looked up when she approached and Vanya almost lost her nerve when their eyes connected, but she continued forward and leaned down to touch his lips to her own. It was only a slight, hesitant kiss, but Vanya couldn't help pulling back to check his expression to see how it was received. 

He watched her curiously, bringing up a hand to cup her face. He had been waiting for her to approach him like this, to offer herself to him to gain his trust so she could look for a means of escape. He wondered if she had really worked up the nerve to follow through.

"What are you doing, Vanya?" he asked her. Of course he knew what she was really up to, but he wanted to hear how she would justify herself to him. Vanya ducked her head and wrung her hands nervously.

"I-I'm so sick of being alone," she told him. She must have realized that her quivering voice wasn't very convincing because she hastily climbed onto his lap. "I just...wanted to touch you," she said as she slid her trembling hands over his shoulders and down to his chest. She looked up from under her lashes and breathlessly, with slight but real fear of rejection, she asked him, "Don't you...don't you want to touch me?"

Five wasn't fooled by her faltering attempts at seduction, but he was pleased by them. He had been waiting for this a long time and he was enjoying himself. He was amused to see her squirming on his lap, desperately attempting to convince him to touch her when it was clear she didn't really want it. And then, she was still uncertain he would take the bait. She was somehow still unaware that, to him, she was the single most desirable woman on the planet. 

"I always want to touch you," Five answered her, his hands curling around her slight hips. Vanya's breath hitched as he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?"

He needed her to verbally accept responsibility for what was about to happen between them, to admit she was walking into their relationship with eyes wide open, knowing exactly what kind of man he was. He needed to hear her commit herself to him, even if he knew she was only trying to use his feelings to manipulate him. It wouldn't matter in the end. He wouldn't let her go no matter what she tried to pull on him.

Vanya hesitated for half a moment and then she nodded. "I want you, Five," she murmured to him. 

He grinned hungrily in response to her words. Unable to hold himself back anymore, he caught her mouth in a fierce kiss, making Vanya freeze momentarily. Elation flowed through Five's body as she began to shyly move her lips against his. He was right to have been patient. Nothing could compare to having her back in his arms willingly.

That first night led to another and then another one after that. Vanya was a bit stiff at first, unused to having to take the lead. But it wasn't long before Five's fervor dominated their encounters, and things were very similar to how they had been when they were first seeing each other. 

Still, Five didn't let himself forget the reality of their situation. He knew Vanya was using their newly established intimacy to search for an opening to escape, and he was remaining vigilant. So when she slipped out of his bed one night after she thought he had gone to sleep, he wasn't surprised. 

He had guessed as much might happen when he had started letting her spend nights with him in the small sleeping quarters that were attached to his office. He didn't even bother locking the door. So when Vanya silently slipped out of the room in the dead of night, Five lay awake in the dark for a moment, and then he calmly got out of bed and walked after her.

Five stayed just out of sight as he followed her quiet, frantic footsteps through the hallways of the asylum. She hadn't bothered checking the front entrance of the building, knowing it was kept securely locked. Instead, she was moving downwards, towards the underground levels of the asylum, presumably looking for some kind of side staff entrance that would be kept unlocked. A nasty little smirk flitted across Five's face. She wouldn't find anything good down there.  
_____

Vanya grew more nervous as she made her way deeper into the bowels of the building. Her mouth was dry and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She hadn't expected there to be so many levels underground. She was starting to fear that she would get lost, and if she were unable to find an exit, she was afraid she wouldn't even be able to make it back to Five's bed before he noticed she was gone.

There was a dim light coming from a nearby room and Vanya carefully peeked through the crack of the ajar door, hoping she would see something that could give her a clue of where she was in the building. 

Instead, what she saw made her give an involuntary, strangled little cry before she was able to quiet herself by bringing her hands to cover her mouth. Inside the room, there were two men hard at work dismembering corpses. Vanya had never seen anything like it in her life. There was blood everywhere and Vanya was certain the bodies they were hacking apart hadn't been dead very long. 

Vanya knew she should have turned and run the moment she made a sound, but she stood paralyzed with fear for a moment too long, and the men inside the room, lumbering about with their bloody axes, had heard her.

They slammed open the door and light flooded into the hallway. Vanya had hardly made it two steps before they snatched her up and dragged her into the room. Vanya let out a shout when they grabbed her and she continued to struggle as they forced her arms behind her back.

"Geez, can you believe this, Luther? What's a patient doing out of bed?" one of the men questioned the other in a vaguely annoyed voice.

"I don't know, but we can hardly send her back after what she's seen," the man, Luther, said as he tightened his hold on Vanya's arms. Vanya was breathing rapidly but she didn't dare speak.

"I guess we'll have one more corpse to deal with tonight," the first man said, brandishing his axe. 

Vanya felt her heart stop at his words and she struggled futilely in the other man's grasp. She really was going to die in the basement of this wretched asylum, mysteriously vanishing in the night like so many unfortunate patients before her. 

Tears started to fall from her eyes and she thought desperately of Five, who lay fast asleep many floors above her, completely unaware of the danger she was in. Despite all he had done to her, she knew he would be the only person to miss her when she was gone, and in that moment she longed for him dearly. She ached for the feeling of protection that his arms brought when he held her close and promised to never let her go.

"What's going on here?" a voice floated in from the hallway. Vanya's head snapped up and she saw Five entering the room, surveying the bloody corpses with a calm curiosity before his eyes landed on Vanya.

"Director-" started the man that was holding Vanya, but he had loosened his grip upon Five's appearance and Vanya interrupted him by breaking away.

"Five!" Vanya shouted desperately through her tears as she ran to him, throwing her arms around his middle and burying her crying face in his chest. Five brought an arm around the back of her shoulders and held her tightly to him.

"Ah, we were cleaning up some of the excess from today's experimental lobotomy procedures when your girl wandered in..." one of the men said, a little unsurely.

"How do you want to deal with it, director?" the other man asked deferentially. Vanya stiffened at this question, but Five smoothed her hair soothingly.

"You can just leave her to me. Vanya here is something of a permanent resident in the asylum," Five said in a light voice, "I don't think she'll have any difficulty keeping a secret. Will you, Vanya?"

Vanya shook her head fervently, clinging to the front of his clothes. Five brought his hands around to loosen Vanya's grip on his shirt and then he lifted her up, smiling fondly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, still sobbing quietly.

After bidding the two men a quick goodnight, Five carried Vanya away. She clung to him as he brought her up through the dark, silent hallways of the building. It wasn't until Five had deposited her on the bed in her patient room that Vanya came back to herself enough to speak. Five was trying to disentangle himself from her grip, but Vanya didn't want to let go.

"Don't leave, please," she pleaded with him softly, "I don't want to be alone tonight."

Five could hear the sincerity in her voice, and he knew it would be unkind to tease her when she was in such a state, but he couldn't give in right away, not after she had just made an escape attempt, pitiful though it was.

"I don't know, Vanya," he said in a slightly mocking drawl, "You've been awfully naughty tonight, wandering out of bed without permission. I thought you might need some time alone to reflect on your actions."

"No, please," she begged in a panicked voice, gripping his arm tightly, "I know I've been bad. I'm sorry, really I am. I promise I won't do it again, so please, just, stay with me."

Her panic and begging having finally mollified Five's ego, he motioned for her to move over on the bed. She complied and he wrapped himself around her. At last able to take a calming breath, Vanya was silent for a moment.

"Would those men really have killed me?" she asked him as they lay together in the darkness.

"No one here will hurt you while you're by my side," he said reassuringly into her ear, but Vanya took little comfort in his statement. Even with Five's presence, Vanya could only fall into an uneasy sleep, knowing how close she had come to dying that night.

When she woke up in the morning and felt that Five's body was still surrounding her, Vanya nearly cried with relief. She didn't know if she would have been able to bear it if she had woken up alone, abandoned even briefly by the one person who was willing and able to protect her. 

Even as these thoughts entered her mind, Vanya knew they were toxic. Five couldn't be trusted. He didn't really want to help her; he just wanted her. He wanted to possess her, to own her. But even those were comforting thoughts to her now. The only way she could hope to survive this murderous madhouse was by relying on Five's protection. The thought of being away from him for even a moment was terrifying to her.  
____

Vanya wasn't the same after that night. She was jumpy, continually seeing danger in the shadowy corners of the asylum and flinching whenever anyone besides Five approached her. She was nervous in a way she never had been before, always poised on the edge of a panic attack.

She clung to Five desperately, every hour of the day. She couldn't bear to be away from him anymore, too frightened of what might befall her if she were left alone. She accompanied him on all his patients visits, even the more gruesome ones she had previously tried to avoid. She cried and screamed whenever he tried to leave her alone, and her begging always pleased him enough to let her stay by his side for a while longer.

Five could scarcely be more pleased if he tried. Vanya couldn't stand to be away from him. She clung to him relentlessly, completely dependent on him for even the semblance of peace of mind. She wanted him, his attention, his reassurances, constantly. Her every thought centered around him, completely consumed.

But still, he wanted more from her. He wanted her to like being with him as much as she needed to be with him. He wanted her to smile at him and to reach out to hold his hand. He wanted her heart in exchange for the one she had inexplicably and inadvertently stolen from him. 

Five knew she just needed one last push to send her tumbling over the edge. Vanya was increasingly distressed everytime she needed to part from Five, crying, begging, and even reacting violently when someone tried to drag her away. It was after one such display of violence that Five schooled his expression into a look of disapproval that he didn't really feel and ordered her into several days of solitary confinement as punishment.

Vanya gaped at him, so shocked by his words that she stopped struggling momentarily against the orderly that was pulling her away. He couldn't leave her. She wouldn't survive without him. 

"Please, Five, no!" she shouted, looking at him desperately, "I want to stay with you!" 

Vanya started struggling again as the orderlies forced her into a white straightjacket. They arrived at the isolation room moments later. 

"Patients can't be with me all the time, Vanya," Five told her calmly as he led her into the padded isolation room. She was visibly panting as she looked around at the white walls. 

"Please," she begged him quietly, but he just gave her a soft smile.

"I'll see you in a few days," he told her, quickly kissing her forehead.

"Days?" Vanya questioned, the panic rising in her voice again. "Five, wait!" she screamed as he closed the door behind him, locking her securely inside.

Vanya didn't know how long she stood there, screaming and crying and pushing herself against the door, begging for him to come back. She was afraid that he was leaving her for good, that he would never come back, and that she would be left vulnerable to all the other horrors and humiliations the asylum could offer an inmate such as herself. She couldn't bear it anymore.

Vanya didn't know how long had passed when Five finally returned. Had it really been days? She wasn't sure. She was curled up in the far corner when he stepped inside the white room. Five went to her and lifted up her tearstained face with his hands.

"Did you miss me?" Five asked her, a faint smirk on his lips. Vanya's expression was vacant at first, and it took her a moment to focus in on Five's face in front of her. When she did, the flood gates opened.

"Five!" she cried, tears pouring from her eyes, "I-, I thought you weren't coming back! I thought I would be alone in this place forever! How could you leave me alone?!" she asked accusingly. Five made a low shushing noise and wiped her tears away with his thumb. 

"I'll always come back for you, Vanya," he told her. He cocked his head to the side. "Isn't that enough?" he asked to bait her.

"Of course it isn't enough!" she sobbed and her face twisted in distress, "I can't be alone anymore! I'm so scared all the time! I can't live like this anymore! Please, Five," she begged him earnestly, "I can't stay here anymore. I'm losing my mind! I'll do anything. You know I'll do anything you say. Just, get me out of here, please!"

Five smiled at her. It was a nasty little smile that made Vanya's stomach twist and made her heart skip a beat. He looked like the cat that got the cream. His look made her nervous, but also hopeful. He must have a deal in mind. Whatever it was, Vanya was resolved to take it.

"Let's talk in my office," he said, still smiling.   
_____

Vanya felt somewhat calmer when she was seated in Five's office. With the straightjacket off, she felt more in control of herself, and she could almost pretend that she had some level of control over what was about to happen, but the grin on Five's face reminded her otherwise.

"Would you really do anything to get out of this place?" he asked her, clearly expecting her answer but eager to hear it anyway. Vanya swallowed nervously, but she was resolute.

"Yes," she croaked out, and she waited.

"Would you marry me?" Five asked, a smug, shit-eating grin spread across his face.

Vanya's mouth fell open and she gaped at him. A variety of horrible and humiliating things had flitted through her mind when she was considering what Five might ask of her, but she had never considered he would ask something like this. She knew he wanted her, wanted to possess her, but...marriage? It seems so bizarrely mundane.

"W-What?" Vanya sputtered out, not entirely sure he wasn't just making some sort of strange joke to tease her. "I-, You can't be serious," Vanya stated disbelievingly. 

"I am serious," he told her, still smiling, "After all this time, how can you still not know that, to me, you are the most perfect creature in the world? How could I settle for anything less than having you as a wife?"

Vanya blushed despite herself. She couldn't help but be a little affected by his strange flattery. Despite everything he had done to hurt and control her, Vanya couldn't escape the knowledge that in his own twisted way, Five really did care about her. In fact, if Vanya was being honest, Five was the only person who had ever cared about her.

Five was still looking at her, so smug and arrogant, so sure that she was going to say yes. But why shouldn't he be? Isn't that exactly what she was going to do? She couldn't bear to remain in the asylum any longer. He had arranged everything perfectly. 

Vanya's resignation to her fate was accompanied by a wave of nervous nausea. She tried to imagine Five as her husband: possessive, domineering,...passionate. She looked down, blushing slightly. She knew what her answer would be, but she couldn't bring herself to say it yet.

"Well...you can't just marry a patient, can you?" Vanya asked instead, "That kind of thing isn't allowed."

Five spread his hands and shrugged. "Who even knows you're here? Your father?" he asked nonchalantly, "I can get rid of your patient file and it'll be like you were never here in the first place."

It was strange for Vanya to think that her experiences in the asylum could be so easily swept away as far as society was concerned. She knew the scars of what she had experienced would never leave her entirely. She thought that Five knew that too, counted on it, even. 

The mention of her father had raised a new worry within Vanya. Her father had meant to commit her to the asylum indefinitely.

"My father..." Vanya trailed off, pain evident in her voice, "What will my father say if you let me out of here…?"

"I'm...acquainted with your father," Five said, a wry smile on his lips, "The reputation of the Hargreeves name is important to him. He'll be more gratified by having a daughter married to a respected doctor than having her rotting in a madhouse. Hell, I'll even take your last name." Five Hargreeves. He liked the sound of that.

Vanya bit her lip. "And... you'll take me away from here...to live in a house?" she asked timidly. She knew it seemed like a silly thing to ask, but she needed to hear that he would take her out of this wretched place.

"Just you and me in a house on a hill," Five told her with a wicked smile that should have frightened her but instead made her stomach flip pleasantly. Vanya took a deep breath.

"Okay," Vanya said, hardly believing what she was agreeing to, "I'll marry you, Five."

Five's eyes gleamed with success, and then his expression grew serious. "There'll be no backing out of this, Vanya," Five told her sternly, "One wrong move and you'll be straight back here." She swallowed nervously at the threat and nodded her understanding. Five smiled again.

Vanya couldn't help but notice how predatory he looked as he stood up and walked towards her. When he reached her, Five wordlessly knelt down, took her hand, and pushed a glittering diamond ring onto her finger. The way it gleamed against her pale, sallow skin painted a surreal image that Vanya could only tear herself away from when Five lifted her chin with his fingers, bringing her eyes to his own.

"I love you, Vanya," he said to her, his expression serious and calm, "We're going to be happy together. I promise."

Vanya was almost more shocked by these words than by his desire to marry her. His audacity in promising that they would be happy together was striking. She wasn't even sure a man like Five was able to love, but, looking at his face, she found that there was a part of her that actually believed him. It was a cold, cruel love, to be sure, but in his heart it was genuine. She leaned down and kissed him softly. 

Vanya knew that she didn't love Five, but she also found it impossible to hate him. Vanya had been alone all her life, and the way Five desired her had made her feel alive. Even now that she knew how twisted his feelings were, he still made her feel wanted. And despite all she had suffered in the asylum, mostly by his own hand, Five also made her feel safe. As her husband, she felt assured that he would protect her from every danger save for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic! Please comment 😊


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